What to Say to Someone Having a Panic Attack Over Text

Panic attacks can strike anyone at any time, leaving them feeling overwhelmed and frightened. When someone you care about is going through one, even if you’re miles away, your words can make a huge difference.

Texting may seem like a small gesture, but offering the right support during those intense moments can help them regain calm and control. If you’re wondering what to say to someone having a panic attack over text, this guide will give you the comforting and reassuring phrases to help them through it.

What to Text Someone During a Panic Attack

Stay Calm and Provide Comfort

When someone is having a panic attack, the world can feel chaotic and out of control. By maintaining a calm and steady tone in your messages, you can provide an anchor for them to hold onto. Your calmness signals safety and stability, which are crucial when their internal world feels anything but stable.

Offering comfort that you are there for them and that they are not alone can help to soothe their anxiety. This combination of calmness and comfort can create a safe space, even through text, where they can begin to regain control over their emotions.

Example Texts:

• “I’m right here with you. You’re going to be okay.”
• “Take your time; I’m not going anywhere.”
• “It’s okay to feel scared right now. I’m here to help you through this.”
• “You are safe. I’m with you, and we’ll get through this together.”
• “Everything is going to be alright. I’m here for you, and we’ll get through this.”

Encourage Breathing Exercises

Panic attacks often lead to rapid, shallow breathing, which can heighten feelings of fear and discomfort. Encouraging someone to focus on their breathing is a practical way to help them manage these physical symptoms.

Breathing exercises work by slowing down the breath, which in turn can slow the heart rate and help the body transition from a state of panic to one of calm. By guiding them through simple breathing techniques, you provide them with a tool to regain control over their physical response, which can then help to ease their emotional distress as well.

Step-by-Step Breathing Exercise:

1. Inhale: Encourage them to breathe in deeply through their nose for a slow count of 4. This slow inhalation helps to increase oxygen intake and can help to calm the nervous system.
2. Hold: Ask them to hold their breath for another count of 4. Holding the breath can create a brief pause that allows the heart rate to stabilize.
3. Exhale: Guide them to exhale slowly through their mouth for a count of 4. A slow exhale helps to release tension and can help to lower the heart rate.
4. Repeat: Suggest that they repeat this breathing pattern several times. Repetition helps reinforce the calming effect and can bring them back to a more relaxed state.

Example Texts:

• “Let’s take a deep breath together—inhale slowly through your nose for 4 seconds.”
• “Hold that breath for a count of 4… and now exhale slowly through your mouth for 4 seconds.”
• “Focus on your breath—deep inhale, hold it for a moment, and then exhale slowly.”
• “You’re doing great. Let’s try that again—inhale deeply… hold… and exhale slowly.”
• “Keep breathing with me—slow and steady, in through your nose, out through your mouth.”

Grounding Techniques

Panic attacks can make a person feel detached from reality, lost in a sea of overwhelming emotions. Grounding techniques are designed to help them reconnect with the present moment by focusing on their immediate environment.

By engaging their senses—what they can see, touch, hear, smell, or taste—you help them shift their focus from internal chaos to the external world. This redirection can break the cycle of panic, providing them with a tangible way to regain their footing and feel more centered.

Step-by-Step Grounding Exercise:

• 5 Things You Can See: Start by asking them to look around and name five things they can see. It could be anything—objects in the room, the color of the walls, or even their own hands.
• 4 Things You Can Touch: Next, guide them to focus on four different things they can physically touch. Encourage them to describe the textures—smooth, rough, warm, cool.
• 3 Things You Can Hear: Ask them to pause and listen carefully to their surroundings. Have them identify three distinct sounds, whether it’s the hum of a fan, birds chirping outside, or even their own breathing.
• 2 Things You Can Smell: Encourage them to take a deep breath and identify two different smells. It could be the scent of coffee, fresh air, or even the faint scent of their own perfume or cologne.
• 1 Thing You Can Taste: If possible, have them focus on one thing they can taste, whether it’s a sip of water, a piece of gum, or just the lingering taste in their mouth.

Example Texts:

• “Can you tell me 5 things you can see around you right now?”
• “What are 4 things you can touch near you? Focus on how they feel.”
• “Listen carefully—what are 3 sounds you can hear? Even if they’re faint.”
• “Can you identify 2 different smells around you? What do they remind you of?”
• “Is there 1 thing you can taste? Even just thinking about a flavor can help.”

Validate Their Feelings

During a panic attack, it’s common for someone to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or frustrated with themselves. Validating their feelings is a crucial way to offer support without judgment. By acknowledging that their experience is real and significant, you help to reduce the stigma they may feel about their anxiety.

Validation doesn’t solve the panic, but it does create an environment where they feel understood and supported, which can make it easier for them to navigate their emotions and begin to calm down.

Example Texts:

• “It’s okay to feel this way. What you’re experiencing is real and valid.”
• “I understand that this is really tough for you right now. I’m here for you.”
• “Your feelings are completely valid. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
• “It’s normal to feel scared during a panic attack. I’m here to help you through it.”
• “There’s no right or wrong way to feel. I’m here with you, no matter what.”

Offer Support and Reassurance

In the midst of a panic attack, the person may feel isolated and overwhelmed. Offering your support and reassurance reminds them that they are not alone in this experience. Your messages can serve as a comforting presence, providing them with the knowledge that someone cares and is there to help them through the storm.

This emotional support can be a powerful tool in reducing their anxiety, as it shifts their focus from the fear they’re experiencing to the support they’re receiving, making the panic attack feel less daunting.

Example Texts:

• “I’m here for you, no matter what. You don’t have to face this alone.”
• “Let me know how I can support you right now—I’m here to help.”
• “I care about you and I’m with you through this. We’ll get through it together.”
• “Take your time, and know that I’m right here if you need anything.”
• “You’re important to me, and I’m here to help in any way I can.”

Provide a Simple Distraction

Sometimes, the best way to alleviate the intensity of a panic attack is to redirect the person’s focus away from their anxiety. Simple distractions can be incredibly effective in helping someone shift their attention from the overwhelming feelings of panic to something more neutral or positive.

By engaging them in a light conversation or suggesting a small, manageable activity, you provide an opportunity for their mind to take a break from the anxiety. This mental shift can reduce the severity of the panic attack and help them regain a sense of normalcy.

Example Texts:

• “What’s your favorite movie? Let’s talk about why you love it.”
• “Can you describe your ideal vacation? I’d love to hear about it.”
• “What’s your go-to comfort food? I could use some new ideas!”
• “Tell me about a happy memory you’ve had recently.”
• “If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be and why?”

Encourage Hydration

During a panic attack, the body’s heightened state of stress can lead to physical symptoms like dry mouth or dizziness, which are often exacerbated by dehydration. Encouraging them to take a sip of water can help address these symptoms while also serving as a small, grounding task.

The act of drinking water is a simple form of self-care that can help them feel more in control of their body and provide a momentary distraction from their panic. Hydration can also have a calming effect on the body, which in turn can help reduce anxiety.

Example Texts:

• “Have you had any water recently? A small sip might help you feel a bit better.”
• “Let’s both grab a glass of water—it might help you feel more grounded.”
• “Sometimes a sip of water can help clear your mind a little. Want to try?”
• “If you have some water nearby, try taking a sip. It might help.”
• “Hydrating can help calm your body a bit. Want to drink some water together?”

Use Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations serve as a powerful antidote to the negative self-talk that often accompanies a panic attack. When someone is in the throes of intense anxiety, their thoughts can spiral into a loop of fear, self-doubt, and hopelessness. Introducing positive affirmations during this time can help break that loop, encouraging a shift in mindset from one of panic to one of self-empowerment.

By sending affirmations, you’re not only offering reassurance but also helping them reconnect with their inner strength. These affirmations work by reinforcing a sense of capability and resilience, reminding them that they have the tools to get through the situation.

Example Texts:

• “You are strong, and you’ve got this. I believe in you.”
• “You have faced this before and come out stronger each time.”
• “Remember, you are capable of handling this moment. You’ve done it before.”
• “You are doing great. Just keep breathing and take it one step at a time.”
• “You are not defined by this panic attack. You are stronger than it.”

Ask Simple Questions

During a panic attack, the mind can become overwhelmed by a torrent of distressing thoughts and emotions, making it hard to focus on anything else. Asking simple, non-threatening questions can help redirect their attention away from the panic. These questions act as a gentle anchor, pulling their focus toward something more manageable and less emotionally charged.

By engaging them in a conversation about neutral or positive topics, you help disrupt the cycle of anxiety, providing them with a momentary reprieve from their overwhelming feelings. This approach not only helps to ground them but also fosters a sense of connection, reminding them that they’re not alone in their experience.

Example Texts:

• “What did you have for breakfast today?”
• “What color is the shirt you’re wearing right now?”
• “What’s something small that made you smile recently?”
• “Can you tell me what time it is without looking at the clock?”
• “What’s one thing you’re looking forward to this week?”

What to Avoid Saying

1. Avoid Minimizing Their Experience

When you tell someone to “calm down” or suggest “it’s not a big deal,” it can feel dismissive and invalidating. Instead of offering comfort, these phrases might make them feel like their emotions are being downplayed, which can heighten their sense of isolation and fear. It’s crucial to acknowledge their feelings and provide genuine support by letting them know that you understand their distress.

Examples to Avoid:

• “Just calm down; it’s not that bad.”
• “You’re overreacting; this isn’t a big deal.”
• “There’s nothing to be afraid of, stop worrying.”

2. Avoid Offering Unsolicited Advice

Offering advice like “just take deep breaths” or “think positively” can feel overwhelming and unhelpful, especially if they’ve already tried these techniques or if they’re unable to implement them in the moment. Instead of giving advice, which might seem like you’re suggesting they’re not doing enough, focus on providing emotional support and being present with them. Show that you’re there to help them through this, rather than directing them on what to do.

Examples to Avoid:

• “You should really try meditating; it’ll help.”
• “Have you tried yoga? It works wonders for anxiety.”
• “Just think happy thoughts, and you’ll be fine.”

3. Avoid Pressuring Them to Snap Out of It

Panic attacks aren’t something someone can simply “snap out of.” Suggesting they pull themselves together or stop thinking about it implies a level of control they don’t have, which can increase feelings of helplessness and frustration. It’s far more supportive to encourage them to take their time and reassure them that there’s no rush in getting through this—your understanding will help reduce their anxiety.

Examples to Avoid:

• “You need to pull yourself together.”
• “Why can’t you just stop thinking about it?”
• “Just stop; you’re making it worse.”

4. Avoid Making It About Yourself

While sharing your own experiences might seem helpful, during a panic attack, the focus should remain on the person who is struggling. Saying things like “I know exactly how you feel” can make them feel their unique experience is being minimized. Instead, keep the conversation centered on them, validating their feelings and letting them know you’re there to support them in whatever way they need.

Examples to Avoid:

• “I’ve been through this before; it’s no big deal.”
• “When I had a panic attack, I just powered through it.”
• “I know exactly how you feel, I get anxious too.”

5. Avoid Using Language That Creates More Fear

Words that imply danger or urgency can escalate the panic. Phrases like “You’re scaring me” or “You need to calm down before it gets worse” can heighten their anxiety. Instead, use calming language that reinforces their safety and your presence with them. The goal is to create a sense of security and reassurance that will help ease their fear.

Examples to Avoid:

• “You’re really freaking me out.”
• “If you don’t calm down, this will only get worse.”
• “I’m worried about you; this seems really bad.”